FEELINGS III: ROLLER COASTER

I have been waiting all day to get home and write ... Yes , write because I like it and it helps me to think clearly . I am having a hard time ... life it is not always rosy! Finally, it seems that my bubble has burst and reality hit me a chunk . - Hey you , wake up ! Things are not what they seem ... (at last, at last I am crying ... I needed and  I could not do it before ) I am not in the mood because things are not going as I expected. But this is what I have to wait ! that things do not always go well! I must to wait that things go wrong to be prepared for it ... I was the queen of the world , since coming to Poland , it seemed that all my problems were gone : great work , great people , love , evil as ever ,but I did not care much , I had no complaints . And now either, everything is still wonderful. The problem as I have with myself ... Sometimes one can be your own enemy ... Something Iam doing wrong or not very well and I have to fix it. Because really, Szansa, in Dolina Milosci, Gantalcalá, my family, deserve it , deserve the best of me , for being my support during this time . My fear appears again, fear of failure ... Always the same : at first everything is great, then things change ... . and people forget me ... why do I have this damn hobby always wanting acceptance from others? Really, it is exhausting to want to love you all the world ... And although I can not change ... Always caring for others and wanting someone who cares for me ... Well, that is life. I want to send a message not pessimistic, on the contrary, I would say, that despite the problems I am really happy, it is normal to feel bad from time to time, we are humans, not machines, we can not always stay with a smile on our faces. But remember, you can always smile, do not ever stop! That is what the bad face of life has taught me. With a smile, life is otherwise. Now I am disappointed but not unmotivated. I proposed activities have not been as successful as I hoped. Well, I must work harder and better, find the reason and solution. Everything happens for something. But really, I want to do something worthwhile....You know, I feel better ... I recommend you write your thoughts because it really helps. 

Be happy my friends!!