And after the EVS, what? Well, I try to continue with my life, which is now a little bit more difficult. The project subsidized most of the costs. Now, these expenses: apartment, bills, internet, phone, etc.. I have to take care of this by myself. The beginnings are difficult, everyone knows, and sometimes there are situations that surpass me. Negative thoughts and doubts that make me wonder if I can survive in another country. Well, survive, yes, that is clear. I mean, to live in good conditions. A lot of questions: Maybe had I have too many illusions? My expectations have been very high? Am I too confident? I have the support of many people, and if were not for them, many times I would have been in really bad situation. The problem is that there are many opportunities, but nothing concrete ... and my anxiety increases with the passage of time and the wait. I really hate to depend on others...
After my project as a European volunteer, I have the good fortune to follow within the "Szansa" team. I keep offering my Spanish classes to children and I will also continue English classes for seniors. Moreover, thanks to the help of a great friend and mate, Natalia, we have drafted a new Erasmus + project, so that other volunteers can come from different countries, like me, to Poland to make a European Voluntary Service. It was very stressful because it was the first time we wrote a project of this type (now I realize that the theory in college was not enough) but in the end, with the help of Darek and Anna, we were able to complete and submit the project on time. Now is time to wait and hope it pass. I hope so, because it is a project in which I put all my effort and my dream, I wish we could pull it off.
As for the rest, I still have my private Spanish lessons, and although it goes very slowly, it seems that we are slowly moving forward. I had some offers from private schools but nothing has materialized yet. I am a little worried but I trust that everything will be ok.
I have to continue my education in order to offer the best. And I am studying Polish with intensity because it is something I really need if I want things go well here. I have gone through days when my self esteem and my energy were not at their best. I am very stubborn and I did not want anyone to help me, but sometimes you need that help, especially to start. But I am tired because I do not think I move, I am standing, and often, it is because I depend on others. So tired of this situation, I decided to remedy it, trust myself, studying, learning, reading, training, get the better of me, because I have reached a comfort zone that does not allow me to improve .
I must say, that although I do not want the help of others, that does not mean I do not appreciate it. Thank you very much to all of you who are always there to keep me up from falling. I am really surprised the selfless help I am getting from many people. People who not long ago I know but they have already shown me that they care about me. So now my mission is not to disappoint them. I can not give up in to adversity because there are and will be always problems. So I will take the force from wherever and I will continue fighting to have the life I always wanted. My dream began almost ten months ago and I will continue to fight to keep it.
I am really very lucky. Thanks to Szansa , last days 12,13,14 and 15 of May, I traveled with Martyna and Darek to Florence, Italy. There were the meeting on the multinational project CHARM holding by Szansa and other NGOs to fight against racism and discrimination was held. It was really great, I met lovely people, I learned a lot and I was able to enjoy my favorite sport in a beautiful city. In addition, the 15th was my birthday. The celebration began in Florence that day and the days after. On Friday, it was also Darek´s birthday, so we celebrated his birthday and mine together in the beautiful Anna Lechowska´s house with other mates from Szansa. It was great ,thank you very much! But that was not all. On Saturday I had dinner with the people from my running team . And I got a nice surprise. I thought they had forgotten my birthday, but suddenly, our coach, went to the room with beautiful bouquets of roses and everyone sang me "happy birthday" ( here Sto Lat ). It was really wonderful. Thank you! (And special thanks to you , you know who are you, because you care a lot about me and you make me happy.)
Everything moves slow, but I am very lucky to be here, in my beloved Poland, surrounded by wonderful people.
